


War & Love

by DreamerFae



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Historical, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-23
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-08-28 04:48:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16716850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamerFae/pseuds/DreamerFae
Summary: This story is set in the year 1823, where Kaneki Ken will soon be his father's successor as a General in the British Army. But he needs to marry a lady of good status and one who is able to bear a child for him. That is when he met Kirishima Touka.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> War AU. Ken will be having black hair but at the same length as Shironeki's.

The year is 1823 and the war is between Britain and Germany has just started. Many male soldiers were sent out to war and the remaining that were not sent—the women, children and few men remained in Britain to make sure the country continues functioning even if the bulk of the citizens are at war.

Arima Kishou, one of the Great War Generals in Britain, has retired and chose to live peacefully in the city while still contributing to the army in other ways. His adopted son, Kaneki Ken, will soon be his father's successor. But to be a successor, it is a requirement by the army for him to get married to a lady of good status and one who is able to bear a child for him so that the family can carry on the family name in the army.

\--

"Ken," Arima called.

"Yes, father," Ken answered as he stood in front of the desk that his father was sitting at.

The white-haired male slid a photo across the desk to Ken and he stared down curiously at the picture of a beautiful long violet haired lady. "You will marry Lady Kirishima Touka. The wedding will happen in 2 months so I suggest that you attempt to get along well with her before the marriage. To do that, General Kirishima, her father, and I have arranged for the two of you to meet this Saturday."

"Yes, father."

The day of the meeting soon came and it was held at General Kishou's house. The servants welcomed the Kirishima father and daughter into the house and guided them to a guest room, where Arima and Ken were waiting at. Upon arrival at the room, General Arata immediately stepped forward to give General Kishou a hug. "It's been a while, Kishou."

Arima let out a rare smile as he embraced Arata. "Yes, it has, my friend."

It seemed the both of them had been friends ever since they were young and had promised that they would have both of their children marry one another when they grew up.

The two men separated and Arata patted Ken on the back. "What a handsome son you have, Kishou. I'm sure he'll get along just fine with my daughter. Oh! Where are my manners? Touka, come here and introduce yourself!"

From behind her father, a lady walked towards them and stepped in front of Arima and Ken. She held her dress up slightly, bent her knees with one foot forward and lowered her body into a bow. "My name is Kirishima Touka. I am pleased to make your acquaintance, General Kishou, and Lord Kaneki."

"Likewise," Arima said.

As Touka raised her head, her midnight blue eyes met Ken's grey ones and his eyes widened at her beauty. Beautiful was an understatement, she was stunning as he gazed at her starting from her smooth and long violet hair that was pinned to the side, to her delicate face and jawline, to her round button nose and her smiling pink lips before his gaze went back up to her two jewel-like orbs again. It was as if those eyes were sucking him in and he was too mesmerized by her beauty that he didn't hear his father calling for him to introduce himself.

Arima shook Ken and he snapped out of his trance. "I'm so sorry. My name is Kaneki Ken. I am also pleased to make your acquaintance."

"Sorry about my son. It seems he fell for your daughter at first sight." Arima joked and Arata laughed when Ken's face turned tomato-red.

"Now then, shall we two old men go out and drink and leave the two youngsters to chat?" Arata suggested and Arima agreed. They left the room, leaving Ken and Touka behind.

"..Would you like to take a stroll in our garden?" Ken asked and the female figured it would be nice to see another garden apart from her family's one. "With pleasure."

As Touka was admiring the different kinds of flowers in the garden, she was aware of him fidgeting behind her and thought that he's probably the type that doesn't know how to approach women. Oh well, she'd take him over playboys or those who sing high praises every time they open their mouth. But that doesn't mean she approved of this marriage.

"Lord Kaneki, to tell you the truth, I do not think much of this marriage. Although it was a promise between our fathers, I would very much rather marry because of love instead of an arrangement. What do you say we tell our fathers to break off this engagement?"

Kaneki froze. What happened to the beautiful and stunning lady that stood in front of him earlier? Her voice now is full of coldness and he was appalled at the choice of her straight and brutal words. He then thought carefully about his reply. "Lady Kirishima, while I do agree with you on that aspect, I'm afraid I have to refuse your proposal of breaking off this engagement. This kind of arrangement has been done for decades and is very important in ensuring the future of the army."

"I guess you're one of those army idiots who devote your life to the army. Being loyal is not a bad thing, I would say. But think about it this way—" she paused for a moment to step directly in front of him, "Can you bear having a child with a woman you do not love and spend the rest of your life living with someone you do not like just because it is important to the army?"

Given the proximity, his cheeks turned red and he stepped backward to give himself some space. "I—I believe love is something we can grow into overtime. At the very least, I can honestly say right now that I do not hate nor dislike you. If I were to use a word to describe how I feel towards you right now, it would be 'admiration'."

At his words, her eyes widened and she pulled back with a blush forming on her cheeks. Admiration. This is the first time anyone has ever said that of her. Other men would tell her that she's beautiful or pretty and it just shows how they only care about her appearance. She's starting to think she might get along with him after all but she can't let her guard down yet.

Touka folded her arms. "Hmph. If you say that you admire me, tell me one thing that you like about me."

"Your eyes." He found it surprising that he did not even hesitate when he answered her question and it seemed that she was also stunned. "W-when I first saw them, I thought they were as beautiful as a pair of midnight blue gems. They're a very pretty color."

The female turned her back to him with her arms still folded. She could feel her heart race in her chest. No man has ever made her feel this way. To cover up her shyness, she pretended to be aloof. "Is that so."

\--

Upon reaching home, Arata grinned at his daughter. "So how was the boy? Do you think you can get along with him?"

"It's too early to judge whether I can get along with him."

"Aww. Don't be shy, Touka. I know you're quite fond of him. If you weren't, you would have told me to call off the engagement as soon as we left their house." Arata teased, to which she blushed furiously. "Please keep quiet, father!"

Well, what her father said wasn't entirely wrong. If she really disliked him, she would have complained a long time ago.

—

Next Saturday...

As Ken stood in front of Touka's door, he looked down at his outfit. I hope this will be okay... He was wearing a coat with buttons at the front and a tail at the back. Underneath the coat, he wore a white shirt and had a tie around his neck. His bottom consisted of brown high-waisted pants and black boots.

He found himself trembling with nervousness and excitement. Today was their second time meeting, their second 'date' as Touka would call since she was the one who suggested that they meet again. He took a deep breath and exhaled. Then, he pressed on the doorbell.

A servant answered the door and hurried back into the house to get Touka. She soon came to the doorstep, looking as beautiful as ever, if not more, now that she's in a long-sleeved black flowy gown with frills that complemented her dark hair.

Her pretty eyes met his and his heart fluttered. "G-good afternoon, Lady Kirishima. It's a pleasure to see you again."

From behind him, he brought out a bouquet of navy blue roses and Touka's face turned into a pleasantly surprised one as she took the flowers from him. "Oh! That's a pretty color."

Blue roses symbolize mysteriousness, new beginnings, and love at first sight.

Her cheeks flushed when she realized the last meaning. She was then reminded of the way he had gazed at her the last time they met, those grey dazed eyes of his, staring at her as if she was the most beautiful being in this world. She buried her face into the flowers and took in the pleasant scent. "Thank you for the flowers. I love them."

"A-ah no problem! I thought that maybe you would like them! I'm glad that you do!" She chuckled at his flushed cheeks and passed the bouquet to the servant after instructing them to place them in a vase.

"Shall we go on our date now then?" She asked.

"Y-yes!"

\--

After bringing her out for lunch at a nice restaurant, they went to see a play and then had a stroll around the park while chatting about trivial things. It came to night all too soon and Touka found her heart dropping as their feet slowly brought them to the doorstep of her house. She actually enjoyed today's date with Lord Kaneki, more than she thought she would. He was not snobbish like some lords would be, nor someone she couldn't stand to be with. He was kind, humble and caring. He had all of the qualities that she wanted a guy to have.

The way he would try his best at jokes to make her laugh, the way he would listen attentively to her and the way he's so considerate and caring of her that he even removed his jacket to place it around her shoulders when she shivered from the cold air. 

It then dawned upon her that she had fallen in love with him. In just 2 dates, he managed to capture her heart which she thought she would have never easily given to a man. 

They stopped at her doorstep and turned to face one another. Touka looked up at him and smiled. "Thank you for bringing me out today. I enjoyed it very much."

"T-Thank you too for your company. I enjoyed it too. W-will we see each other again?" His heart jumped in his chest as he looked hopefully at her and waited for her response.

She smiled again. "Of course."

Kaneki sighed in relief. "T-then I'll see you again soon. Good night, Lady Kirishima. I will be taking my leave—"

The female pulled on his sleeve to stop him from leaving and he stared down at her who had her head tilted upwards and eyes closed. Is she asking me to kiss her?!!! He swallowed and moved to caress the cheeks he held underneath his palms. Then, he leaned in and kissed her.

\--

The couple got engaged and married 1 month later. They were given a small cottage on the outskirts of town to enjoy being newly wedded. Although it was smaller than their own homes, it was comfy and just right for the two of them. After Arima handed his General position down to Kaneki, he became extremely busy and worked for the army day in and day out. He would often come back late at night and fall asleep before showering and head out early the next day before Touka woke up. With the ongoing war, he couldn't afford to take even a day off.

\--

After a few weeks, he was finally able to get permission from the higher-ups to be released earlier.

"I'm home!' Kaneki announced as he removed his boots at the doorstep and Touka helped him out of his jacket with a smile. "You're early today. Do you want to eat or have a bath first?"

"A bath."

"I'll go get it ready for you then."

After finishing his bath, he walked into the kitchen to find his wife standing in front of the stove, holding a ladle in her hands as she stirred the soup. "Dinner will be done soon. Take a seat at the dining table first—"

He hugged her from behind and leaned his chin on her shoulder. "I'm sorry for not being able to spend time with you lately. I actually asked my superior to let me off earlier today so I can be with you. With the war going on, we can't relax. Maybe when it's over, we can go on a trip? Just you and me. Where do you want to go?"

She turned around and pulled him down for a kiss. "It's okay, Ken. I understand that you're busy. How about going to Paris or London? I've always wanted to go there since I was a little girl."

Kaneki cupped her cheeks and captured her lips again. He pulled away hesitantly and had a sorrowful smile. "I'll bring you everywhere you want to go."

Touka buried her fingers in his jet black hair and frowned. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing."

His lips turned up into a forced smile while his hands gripped her waist tightly and he stared down at her. He leaned in to press his lips to hers for a brief moment, separating hesitantly and felt the lingering warmth of her lips on his. Taking her hand in his, he guided her to their bedroom and slowly laid her down. Every loneliness they felt from not being able to spend time with one another was expressed through their frantic kisses and embrace.

Afterward, he held her close to his naked chest and kissed her sweaty forehead. He inhaled a deep breath and exhaled. "I'm going to the battlefield tomorrow."

Touka froze in his arms. How could life be so cruel to them, to separate them just 1 month after getting married? This can't be... oh, she knows! This was another one of his jokes where he's getting her to laugh.

She let out a chuckle. "You're joking."

When he doesn't reply her, she stopped laughing. "...you're joking."

"I'm not. I'm really going."

Tears brimmed in her eyes as sad memories of her little brother, Ayato died on the battlefield a few years ago starts to resurface. She doesn't want to ever go through the pain of losing a loved one ever again. "You can't go. I won't allow you to go."

Kaneki wiped her tears away with his thumbs as they continue to fall. "I am the General, I have to lead my troops. If I don't go, who will? Please understand. I promise I'll be back then we can go to Paris and London and—"

"You can't promise that! Ayato did and he—" she sniffed, "he never came back. Ken, please don't go... I don't want to lose you."

He can't stand her being sad, his heart hurts. "Touka..."

She turned her back to him and buried herself under the blankets.

"Touka, please don't do this. I don't want us to separate while we're having a fight..." He pleaded as he tried to pull the blankets away but she refused to budge.

"We won't be fighting if you don't go tomorrow."

"You know I can't do that.."

She doesn't reply to him anymore after that and he sighed before laying down on the bed. He glanced over at her who still had the blankets over her head and frowned.

\--

When Kaneki woke up the next morning, he frowned when he didn't see his wife in bed with him. He got up groggily and got changed into his army uniform before heading to the kitchen to get some breakfast. If she was still angry, she probably wouldn't cook for him...

He was honestly surprised at the number of dishes there were on the dining table and how his wife placed the utensils down nonchalantly. Touka raised a brow as she stared at him. "What are you waiting for? Sit down and eat."

Doing as he was told, he took the seat opposite hers and watched her put some vegetables and meat onto his plate of rice. "Eat up. You probably won't get nice food to eat when you're there."

His hands grabbed hers and her eyes widened in surprise. "You'll let me go?!"

"I thought about it this morning and it was selfish of me to not let you go. I was just afraid that you wouldn't come back, like Ayato... I'm sorry, Ken." She averted her eyes and mumbled.

"No, you don't have to apologize. I understand how you feel." Kaneki removed the cross necklace he was wearing and placed it in her open palms. "I'll leave this with you. Whenever you're lonely, I hope it'll remind you of me and how I'll always be by your side. It's also my promise that I will come back to you."

Tears brimmed in her eyes and she quickly put on the necklace. "You must come back, okay?"

He leaned over to give her kiss on the cheek. "I promise."

"Okay, eat as much as you can. All of these are your favorite dishes. I'm still cooking egg behind."

"WHA—you don't have to cook anymore! We already have 5 dishes, Touka!" He exclaimed.

\--

The bus soon came to pick him up and he walked towards it after giving his wife a last hug. Halfway towards the bus, he dropped his bags and ran back to her. He tackled her with a tight hug and cupped her cheeks to capture her lips onto his. Tears escaped his eyes as he rested his forehead against hers after many kisses. "Wait for me, Touka. I'll be back in the blink of an eye."

Her tears stained her own cheeks. "I'll be waiting."

\--

In those days where there weren't any devices they could use to communicate with one another, they write letters.

\--

The first letter came after 3 weeks, after he reached the camp and settled down. They were planning their ambush and was waiting for the right time. He tells her that he misses her already, wanting to finish this and see her as soon as possible.

The second letter came another 3 weeks later, after ambushing the 1st enemy. One-quarter of his troops were lost to the battle, with many others injured. He managed to escape unscathed because his soldiers protected him. He even joked about how he would want her to treat his wounds if he got hurt.

\--

By this time, Touka started to feel unwell and called for the doctor. He examined her and found her to be pregnant with a girl. She was overjoyed and quickly informed her family and father-in-law. As for Kaneki, she would leave it as a surprise for when he returned.

\--

The third letter came 2 months later. Kaneki said that they were going to fight another enemy who has twice the amount of troops they have and prays for this to end safely so he can finally go home to her.

The fourth letter never came.

\--

When the fourth letter wasn't delivered to her, Touka went to the post office thrice a week to ask them whether her letters reached the camp or were there any letters for her but they told her no each time. She continued this for 2 months until an official-looking envelope came to her house.

Judging from the red seal, it was definitely from the army. Her heart raced as she slowly opened the envelope. Kaneki was finally coming home! The first sentence she read was enough to throw all of her excitement down the drain.

As of November 9, 1823, Kaneki Ken is deemed MIA, captured by enemy forces or dead.

We have attached the remnants of his belongings found at the battlefield inside this envelope. Please accept our heartfelt condolences on the loss of your loved one.

With trembling hands, she reached inside for a photograph. Her heart sank to the bottom of her chest and she dropped to the ground sobbing whilst holding the photo tightly to her chest.

It was the photo they took on their 2nd date.


	2. Chapter 2

Having heard of this terrible news, Arima had asked for her to return to his house so they can properly take care of her and her son, to which she agreed. There was no point staying in a house alone and waiting for someone who would never come home.

For the first few weeks, Touka refused to leave her room and spent every single day crying her eyes out while holding the photo and cross necklace Ken had left behind. Her husband's death had affected her so badly that she would refuse to eat or drink much and even collapsed due to her frail body.

Arima had wanted to leave her alone so time would heal her wounds but he decided that it was time to show her the letter Ken had written before he left for the war. He slid it under the door and she picked it up a few hours later when she realized that it was there.

\--

To my dearest Touka,

I hope that this letter would never land in your hands ever but if you are reading this right now, it would mean that I've passed away during the battle.

The first thing I would like to say is I am sorry for not fulfilling my promise to you about coming back. After I returned, we would go to Paris and London together and maybe even start a family. I looked forward to the days we would spend together living in our small cottage peacefully, waking up with you by my side, having our meals together and even arguing once in a while. Even if it was a simple life, I wanted it, because it was with you.

The second thing is I have actually talked to my father about this and I want you to have all of the fortunes I inherited from my father. Please don't argue with me or my father about this because I have already decided. I hope the money is able to support you for the rest of your life and I would be happy if you could use it to open a shelter for orphaned children. You may not know this but I am an orphan and my father adopted me. Not every child is as fortunate as me and I do not want them to remain an orphan forever. So I hope you will accomplish this wish of mine.

The third thing is please take care of yourself after I'm gone. Move on with life, perhaps marry a nice guy and have children with him. I don't want you to be hung up over a dead person like me. You deserve happiness and God has decided that I am not the person to give it to you.

The last thing is I love you. I love you very much. I hope that you will at least remember that after you re-marry. Thank you for making me the happiest man on earth when you agreed to marry me. I wish you happiness and all the best in everything you do.

Goodbye.

Love, Ken.

\--

At the end of the letter, her tears couldn't stop falling.

\--

For the first time in weeks, Touka left the room and had a proper meal. She used the money Ken had left for her to open an orphanage in the city and made sure to take care of herself. Although she wanted to honor all of his wishes, there was one she wouldn't fulfill for him no matter what, and that was to re-marry. This was because she's extremely sure that she wouldn't fall for another man beside Ken for the rest of her life.

After regaining the strength she lost in those few weeks, she went to town for shopping. Looking through the endless aisles of baby clothes, she placed a hand on her 6 months old sized belly and picked out some cute rabbit onesies. Hearing a child's laughter nearby, she looked at the family beside her.

The little girl jumped up and down as she pulled on her father's pants while holding a blue baby shirt. "Papa! I think this one will look nice on little brother Aki!"

The male smiled and patted his daughter's head. "That looks nice, doesn't it, mama?"

His heavily pregnant wife took the shirt from her daughter and grinned. "You're right honey! Let's buy this!"

The whole section was filled with wives who had their husbands with them to do shopping with and Touka bit her lower lip to stop her tears from falling. They escaped nonetheless, dripping down her cheeks as she wished so hard that Ken was here with her. She was sure that he would just as excited, if not more than she was. He would pick out many outfits and insisted that they buy all of them. Then, they would spend hours arguing over which one they should first let their child wear, and compromise on one. Ken would have been a great father, given his gentle and caring personality. Their child would have loved him.

\--

Though she was trying to get by every day without him, it was still painful whenever she saw happy families on the streets, and she felt so, so lonely. The only reason she stayed alive was to fulfill Ken's last wish and because of the unborn son within her.

\--

The male groaned and slowly opened his eyes to an old man staring down at him. "Oh, you're awake. How do you feel?"

"W-what? Where am I? Who are you?"

Confused, the male tried to sit up but groaned in pain before falling back onto the bed.

The old man seemed to be stirring some medicine. "I wouldn't get up if I were you. Your injuries were quite serious when I found you on the battlefield. It looked like a bomb went off and you lost your right eye and arm in the process. Do you remember your name or where you came from?"

He brought his left hand up to touch the bandage covering his right eye and then down to his right arm, only for his hand to be met with an empty sleeve. "I—I don't know. I don't remember."

"You must have hit your head hard that you can't even remember your own name and country. Come on, drink this medicine." The elder man held out a cup and he stared suspiciously at the green liquid inside it. "Don't worry, if I wanted to kill you, I wouldn't have tended to your wounds."

After forcing the disgusting liquid down, the elder man took the cup back and washed it. "For the time being, let's give you a name so I know what to call you. What name do you want? Maybe you can pick out your favorite characters."

"Favorite characters... they would be coffee and world, so... Sasaki Haise."

\--

It took him a whole year to recover from the severity of his injuries he suffered during the war and soon, he was up and helping the old man tend to his vegetable farm. It was his way of thanking the elder for taking care of him the whole time. Though it was tough getting around with only one arm, he got used to it.

"Sasaki, don't you ever want to go back to your previous life? You're married, aren't you?" The old man asked, pointing at the ring on his finger.

The black haired male brought his left hand up to gaze at the silver ring. "I don't remember my wife or my family so I can't go back. Even if my memories did return, I wouldn't go back. I'll stay here and help you with your farm! It's my only way of repaying you for saving me."

"Liar. You avoided my eyes when you answered earlier."

He sighed. "..nothing can ever go through you... I guess I'm just...afraid that they wouldn't accept me when I go back. I lost my eye and arm. It's ugly. What if my wife and family are disgusted by my appearance and not accept me? I'm afraid to hear those words of rejection. Besides, it's been a long time so they may have forgotten about me already."

"If it were me, I would at least go back and see if they're doing well. If they're doing fine without me, then I'll be contented and leave. If they want me back, I'll stay. Sasaki, my boy, only when people are gone from this world forever, then you will blame yourself for not seeing them earlier or for not doing something for them. I don't want you to regret it, boy. My wife passed away 10 years ago and even now, I regret not telling her that I love her."

Sasaki spent the whole night thinking about the old man's words.

The next morning, he decided to head for the city and packed his bags. "Well then, I'll be going. Thank you for everything you've done for me, old man. Is it alright that I come back here if my family doesn't want me?"

The old man patted Haise on his back. "I hope it doesn't come to that. See ya."

As soon as he arrived in the bustling city, he brought out a torn and tattered letter from his bag and stared down at the address written on the back of it. His eyes scanned through the address quickly before landing on the name. Kirishima Touka. Could she be his wife?

Haise spent the whole day trying to get around the city and finally reached his destination. Before him stood a beautiful 2 level brick-style house and he can't help but be awed by it.

After passing the main gates, he walked through the garden until he heard a woman sobbing. Cautiously walking without a sound, he made his way towards the direction of the woman's cries. Upon laying eyes on the violet-haired female, he found his breath taken away by her beauty. Even if she was crying, she was still undeniably beautiful. In his attempt of wanting to get closer to her, he let down his guard and accidentally stepped on a broken branch that laid on the ground.

The loud crunch sound alerted the lady and she whipped her head around at the intruder. Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped at the sight of him. "Ken?"

Haise quickly turned and started running. "I'm so sorry for intruding at night!!"

To his dismay, the beautiful female ran after him but Touka was too shaken up by his sudden appearance that she tripped on a branch and fell down. Hearing a loud thump from behind him, he turned around and saw her laying on the ground. Cursing, he ran to her side and helped her up. "Are you alright?"

Instead of answering his question, she only stared at his face with tears in her eyes before she threw her arms around him and buried her face into his chest. "It's really you, Ken!"

"W-Wha—I am not this 'Ken' you've been talking about! I'm Sasaki Haise! Please let go of me if you're alright, miss!" He tries to get her off of him but it is all in vain when her grip was only getting tighter and tighter.

"Please don't go anywhere, Ken... I miss you..." She cried, face still buried in his chest. He doesn't know why but his heart ached when he sees this lady like this.

"What's happening out there? Miss Touka, are you alright?!" Arima called as he stepped outside the door and see the two of them hugging. "..Ken?"

"Ah, father! Could you please help me bring him in?! He's trying to run away!"

It seemed that he was also shaken by his son's sudden appearance when he was supposed to be dead. "G-Guards!"

\--

After getting him into the house forcefully, the three of them settled in Arima's study room with cups of tea on the table in front of them. Haise could feel himself growing more nervous by the minute as the beautiful lady and the strict male stared at him for longer than appropriate.

"He's definitely Ken," Touka announced.

"He claims that he isn't," Arima replied and the two went quiet again.

"Do you remember what happened to you?"

Haise then told them about everything that happened so far since the war and how his memory about his life has not returned. The beautiful lady seemed to grow sadder the more he said while the white-haired male didn't have a particular expression on his face.

"Well then, Haise. I am Arima Kishou, your father and this lady here is your wife, Kirishima Touka. Won't you stay with us for the time being? There may be a chance that your memories will return if you do."

His thoughts went back to the sender of the letter. It was also Kirishima Touka. Aside from them looking like they are not bad people, he also reckoned that he should stay here for the sake of recovering his memories.

"Okay."

Arima gave a brief smile. "I'll take my leave first then. I'm sure you two have a lot of things to talk about."

As soon as he left, Touka's eyes roamed his body for his injuries. His right eye was hurt and his right arm was gone. Without her even saying anything, he could tell that she was upset, from her frown.

"Do you..really not remember anything? Even the day we first met?"

He shook his head. "I'm afraid not. Sorry."

She let out a shaky breath. "Then I'll tell you everything that happened between us."

\--

From the way she spoke of him, Haise could tell that they used to be very much in love with one another and how his 'death' had caused her a lot of grief. She spoke about how she managed to stand back up after reading his letter to her and accomplishing the last wishes he had. By the time she was done, it was already midnight and she got up from her seat with a sorrowful smile. "It's late. I'll guide you to your room so you can rest."

When they reached his room, she greeted him good night but didn't leave. Instead, she stood rooted to the ground and gazed up at him with the same sad smile she had earlier on. Her hands reached to cup his cheeks and he stared into her beautiful midnight blue eyes.

"..You have beautiful eyes, Miss Touka."

She chuckled at his compliment. "You said the same thing when we first met. I guess some things just don't change."

Caressing his cheeks with her fingers, she stood on her toes and pressed her lips to his. Having her soft lips against his, Haise is suddenly reminded of an image of them kissing at her doorstep. He found himself disappointed as she pulled away and whispered good night before walking away.

His head throbbed in pain and he threw himself onto the large and comfy bed. Before he knew it, his eyes were closing and he fell asleep. Touka...

The next morning after having breakfast, Haise was invited by his 'wife' to visit their home garden with her. As they walked through the same garden, Touka noticed that he was looking at all of the different flowers as if he was seeing them for the first time. She frowned as she had hoped that seeing this garden would be able to bring at least some of memories back, but it seemed that it wasn't working.

He suddenly stopped at a particular flower and plucked it from the ground. "Miss Touka."

Turning around at the call of her name, her eyes widened when he held out a single blue rose in his hands. "For you."

Tears fell down her cheeks as she took the rose from him and Haise quickly took out a tissue to wipe her tears away. Normally, a girl wouldn't cry when someone gives her flowers, so he was taken aback when he saw her tears fall. "W-why are you crying?"

"You gave me a bunch of these on our date too. Thank you. You're really Ken, huh?"

Although his mind couldn't remember a single thing, his body remembered. His arm automatically encircled her body to pull her close and he buried his face into her lavender-scented hair. Touka smiled, comforted by the warmth of his body and security it provided her.

It took months of repeatedly visiting the places they've been to before on dates as well as to the small cottage that they stayed at previously for him to regain his memories and it all came back one night.

Ken bolted up in bed and glanced around. This is...my room? The war... he even retained memories of living as Haise and he frowned down at his missing right arm. He has failed the country and disgraced his father. He should have just died on the battlefield and not come back.

"Haise? Are you awake? I couldn't sleep so I was wondering if you had some time to talk..." Touka asked and entered through the half-opened door. His eyes widened at the sight of his wife and he felt tears brim in them. Quickly wiping them away, he gave a wry smile as she sat down on a chair near his bed. "Sure, I'm not asleep yet anyway."

She started to talk but he couldn't hear anything at all, not when he was too occupied with staring at his wife who had grown more beautiful over the years. Her hair had grown longer and maybe it is just him, but her bosom is bigger as well. His thoughts were interrupted as she leaned forward with a frown and his eyes quickly moved up to meet hers.

"Are you even listening, Haise? You've been staring at me for a long time and you're not replying either."

His head moved to rub his nape and he chuckled nervously. Act normally, like Haise! But alas, the hand that goes to his chin gave him away. "Yeah, I'm listening!"

Her eyes go wide at the gesture. "Ken?"

"W-who's that?" His hand never left his chin.

Tears streamed down her cheeks and she tackled him with a hug. "You idiot! You're finally back!"

Hesitantly, Kaneki pushed her away and avoided her gaze. "I'm sorry, could I be left alone?"

"W-why? What's wrong? You don't have to hide anything from me, Ken. Tell me."

He told her about how he feels extremely guilty for causing the deaths of his soldiers and yet he's living like nothing happened. He wants to kill himself. Before she could say anything to him, he asked her to leave and locked the door.

\--

Kaneki visited his father the next morning as soon as he woke up. He dropped to his knees, placed his hand on the floor and bowed down. "I have regained my memories, father. I am deeply sorry for failing in my first duty as General and disgracing you. I was unable to lead my troops well and I should be killed as punishment. Because of me, many people have suffered and I should be responsible for the lives they lost in the war."

Arima didn't even bat an eye when he heard that. "Raise your head, Ken. Do you know what happened after you went missing?"

He did as he was told. "No, I do not know."

"You managed to contact headquarters in time and back-up was sent to help. We ended up winning the war."

"B-but I heard half of my troops did not survive so I shouldn't—"

"Think about it this way. If it weren't for you, the other half wouldn't have survived. You were able to save them."

"I could have saved the other half if I had realized the enemy's trap earlier—!"

Seeing as he remained as stubborn as ever about wanting to be responsible for his soldiers' deaths, Arima sighed and tried to go about it the other way. "Then what will happen to your wife if you die? Do you know how broken she was when she found out you were dead? She couldn't leave her room for weeks. What about your son? You want him to live the rest of life without a father?"

"..son?" I have a son?"

Silence filled the room. "..Go to her. You two have lots to talk about."

With that, he got on his feet and dashed to wherever Touka was. At this time of day, she'd probably be in her room and she was there, combing her violet locks. "Ken? What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost. Listen... about last night, I—"

"Before that, please tell me only the truth. Do I have a son?"

Her nod knocked the breath of his lungs.

"..Do you want to see him?"

"Yes please."

She brought him to the room opposite hers and from the cute decorations that filled the room, he could tell it was a nursery room.

Carefully taking her son from the crib into her arms, she cooed to him and smiled when he laughed happily. Without taking her eyes off her child, she rocked him from left to right as more laughter escaped his small mouth. "I found out that I was pregnant after we started exchanging letters and I had wanted to tell you when you came back from the war. But you never came back so... I didn't tell you earlier because I didn't want to scare you off when you were Haise." 

Kaneki couldn't take his eyes off of his son as he stared at the black roots that were growing from the boy's head and how his blue eyes resembled Touka's ones very much. He couldn't help but reach out for the boy and when his small pudgy hand grabbed his finger, Ken's heart fluttered and his eyes brimmed with tears from the overwhelming feelings that flowed through him.

"Do you want to hold him?" She asked as she stepped towards him and he withdrew.

"N-no, it's okay. I would probably drop him—"

Before he could stop his wife, she had already given him the child and placed him safely in his arm. The child seemed to know that this was his father and gurgled happily at its father. So this is how it feels like to hold your own child... It makes you feel all warm inside.

"What's his name?" He asked as he gazed down at the cute boy.

"Kou. I combined the 'K' from your name and 'ou' from mine. How is it?"

"It's a nice name."

She smiled as the father and son laughed at one another. It was a truly heartwarming sight and she'd never thought she would get to see it. But the thing about last night has been bothering her for a long time.

"Ken. I want to talk about last night."

Kaneki froze. Kou seemed to sense the tension in the air and stopped his laughter.

"There are bound to be deaths in a war. Your soldiers are prepared for the possibility of them never returning when they were deployed. Knowing you, I'm sure you gave everything into coming up with the best strategy to retaliate and also protect your soldiers. All those late nights you spent at work were not in vain, because you saved half of those men. If you died, I would be very sad and your son would grow up without a father. Arima-san would also be extremely sad to see the son he rescued throw his life away."

More tears spilled from his eyes and he struggled to keep them in. "B-But those soldiers who died..."

She hugged him. "Forgive yourself, Ken. You are not at fault. Remember that life is always cruel in taking things away from us. When I thought you were gone, I couldn't move on, not until I read your letter. I don't ever want to go through that pain again. Please don't leave me."

It's ironic that his father's words weren't able to get through him but Touka's words can. Come to think of it, she always had a way of making him feel better and comfortable after a long day of work.

As if sensing his father's sadness, Kou started bawling and the parents separated to comfort him by making weird noises and rocking him back and forth. They managed to calm him down only after 10 minutes and put him back in the crib.

Leaving the nursery room, Touka closed the door quietly behind her before turning back to look at her husband. She removed the cross necklace from her neck and helped him put it on. After she was done, she cupped his cheeks and gazed at him lovingly.

"..Don't you think I'm hideous? I lost my eye and my arm..." Kaneki asked, avoiding eye contact because he was too afraid to see her reaction to his question.

"No. They're evidence of you being brave at war and survived to come back. Then I can brag to everyone that my husband is strong."

"But..."

"No more buts, losing an eye and arm is not going to make me look at you any differently. You're still the same Kaneki Ken whom I fell in love with years ago," Her serious expression turned into a more relaxed one as she joked, "Besides, I'd probably be more upset if you lost your dick though."

He let out a hearty laugh and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "I love you so much, Touka."

"I love you too, Ken. Thank you for coming back to me."

3 years later...

Even though Kaneki has long forgiven himself, nightmares of his soldiers dying on the battlefield still come to him once a month. Though it is a shame that he has to retire from being a General and changed to be doing paperwork, he is also relieved because he's then able to spend more time with his family, unlike before where he barely even got to see Touka.

After taking a short break from work, he brought Touka and Kou to see the old man who took care of him for that 1 year. His back seemed to be worsening and so to repay him, Kaneki decided to bring him into the city and give him a house to live. It was the least he could do for his benefactor.

They also continued staying at Kaneki's home since Arima is also getting on in years and only moved back into the small cottage after Arima passed away.

Another 2 years later...

"Mama! What's this?" Kou asked as he held a bunch of letters in his hands. He found them in his mother's drawer earlier and couldn't read the complicated words as he hasn't gone to school yet.

Touka smiled down at the old letters. "Ah, these were the letters me and your papa wrote to one another when he was at war. Do you want me to read them for you?"

Kaneki walked into the room with baby Ichika in his arm. "What's happening?"

"I was going to read for Kou our love letters to one another." She teased and his cheeks turned red. "Those are so embarrassing! Don't read them, Touka!"

As he chased her around the house for the letters while holding Ichika, Kou laughed at them and they found themselves laughing at their silliness too.

\- EXTRA -

"Touka, you said you wanted to go London and Paris right? I booked us air tickets for next Saturday." Kaneki said.

Tears escaped her eyes as she threw her arms around him. He still remembered their promise, she thought that he had already forgotten about it. "It's about time we go!"

The family of 4 lived happily ever after.


End file.
